What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dear god my vagina.
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