The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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