you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
