Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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