I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
