so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you would pick up someone in the library
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
