Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
