Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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