If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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