tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
