you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
