god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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