Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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