So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
