then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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