The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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