atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
