Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
