Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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