I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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