Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
