She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
