Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
