he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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