You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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