Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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