if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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