i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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