i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
