You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
