you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
