ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
