If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
