i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
