Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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