What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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