Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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