Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
