i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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