The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
