All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
