I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
