i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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