and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
