dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
