I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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