No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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