69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
they're like a gay fantastic four
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
