Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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