i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
